The Hidden Cost of Back to School for Single Mothers
Kehinde Adeleye
For many families, the back to school season is a time of excitement, fresh uniforms, new books, and the hope of a successful academic year. But for countless single mothers, it comes with a heavy weight of responsibility and unseen challenges that go beyond the school gates.
The most obvious struggle is financial. From tuition fees to uniforms, textbooks, transportation, and even daily lunch money, the list of school expenses feels endless. Single mothers often shoulder these burdens alone, sometimes juggling multiple jobs just to keep up.
The pressure to provide without support can be overwhelming, especially when children are enrolled in more than one class or level.
Beyond finances, there is the emotional toll. Many single mothers wrestle with guilt, questioning if they are doing enough or whether their children feel the absence of another parent during milestone moments.
When children resume school, this guilt intensifies with constant comparisons to peers whose needs may be more easily met by two income households.
Time is another silent challenge. School resumption means early morning routines, preparing meals, school drop offs, homework assistance, and attending meetings, all while trying to maintain steady employment.
Without a partner to share responsibilities, the balancing act often leaves mothers exhausted, with little or no time for personal rest or growth.
Recently, in a WhatsApp group I belong to, single mothers began a conversation that caught attention and could easily pass as a social experiment.
The stories shared were raw and brutally honest about survival in a world that often offers them no lifeline. Some confessed that sex was sometimes exchanged for financial survival, a desperate response to school bills and empty pockets.
Others lamented how baby daddies ignored the wellbeing of their children, abandoning their roles while mothers struggled alone. Divorce, which for some once promised peace, was described as a place where the hope of raising kids in stability was broken.
The group also unearthed other hidden battles. Wives and side chicks clashing over men was a recurring theme, showing how fractured relationships trickle down into the lives of children.
Some women admitted they had ended up with married men, not out of pride but out of loneliness, pressure, or the need for financial support.
The most startling stories came from mothers who said they had become sex slaves of sorts, trading their bodies not only to curb their own loneliness and desires but to make sure their children’s school needs were met.
Even more heartbreaking were the accounts of women who said they were jilted after sex, men promising to give them money after long nights of marathon intimacy only to disappear without fulfilling those promises.
The emotional and physical cost of such exploitation leaves scars that go beyond the financial desperation that pushed them into it in the first place.
What emerges from such conversations is not only the pain but also the resilience of women who, despite everything, push forward for their children’s sake. They stretch resources, swallow pride, endure stigma, and fight tirelessly to ensure their children’s education is not compromised. Their strength is a testimony to the power of unconditional love.
This piece, however, is not solely about single motherhood. It is a reflection on the unique challenges they face during the back to school season.
In subsequent times, we will discuss single motherhood in its fullness, its complexities, sacrifices, coping mechanisms, and the societal lens through which these women are often unfairly judged.
For now, as schools resume, it is important that we not only celebrate children’s excitement but also pause to honor the mothers who quietly move mountains to make it possible.
